. . . c r e a t i v e s t o r y t e l l e r, a n d s t r a t e g i c t h i n k e r 19 m a d h a v @ k o c h u n n i . c o m | k o c h u n n i . c o m to be continued in the next issue ... letters. I thought my racing heart touched the letters a few times on its wildest beats. After a short while, a tall slender kid entered the consulting room and introduced herself as the surgeon. I can still see the smile which lit up her face much later, when I became more mindful, I noticed that it lit up the entire room. Are we going to entrust my dear wife to this child? “Jaya, can I call you Jaya?” And introduced herself as Dr. O. We nodded. Dr. O got straight to the point. She kept the yellow folder closed. The results have come back from the biopsy. I am sorry to say it is cancer. The surgeon reached forward to support Jaya. My overwhelming sense of denial had Freedom at 10! Women think way far ahead. They plan, plot, and gently let their men loose in a maze that resembles their mind! And those pour souls believe they are getting away with ‘it’. It could be anything from an iPad to an unsupervised visit to Costco or Best Buy. Some Sundays I get the freedom – the nod to go to an electronic shop or even Costco, unsupervised. There is no pattern to this period-of-enjoyment. This Sunday the leash fell away just before 10 in the morning. In between calls my wife expressed a desire to get two things from Costco. I was out of the door with a leap and a bound. And bolted in right back. The weather woman had me again. She had promised 14 C. Gloomy, but double digits. With a blowing wind the day was chilly. I grabbed a jacket and made it to Costco under three minutes. Scheming mind! As soon as one enters the world of Costco, the scheming mind of supermarket chains becomes evident. The size of TVs seem to grow every week. The brightest, sharpest, and biggest in front. The smaller ones at the back. Four rows of moving images on TVs thinner than my eyeglasses. I caressed the bigger ones, turned them around, measured the thickness with my fingers. I walked to the end of the electronic isle. Like a pup I wandered the aisles of the electronic sectionwith a drooling tongue and wagging tail. They were offering giant TVs for such a low price. Not that I could take home a fourth TV. I stopped in front of BOSE speakers and turned it on. Two companion droolers also joined me. I closed my eyes and listened to the pure crisp sound. I went through the accessories aisle. I can probably manage a $50 purchase without authorization. But I had most of them. Propped up next to the external hard drives was a small black box that promised to stream YouTube directly to TV. That would save so much of time and effort hooking up the laptop when my wife desired to see an ethnic movie. [These desires are often a few collection of words, sometimes a “hmmmm”, a nod, or a mere look. I have written a book of codes to decipher them all!] Ticking freedom My freedom time was ticking along. The Citizen watch with eco-drive looked tantalizing. So did the wireless pod lights. I pondered in front of the automatic night lights on stairs and dark hallways that doubled as flash lights. The Dyson vacuum cleaners were obscenely expensive. The U-shaped computer station looked neat. At $19.50, the battery recharger was cheap. I pulled out the snow gloves. Four layers of padding. I always had problems with my fingers freezing in winter. It did not have my size. The choice in shirts was limited. There were more fleece and Calvin Klein sweaters. Calvin Klein! I took off my hoodie and tried one. No. I will need a new closet to hang any more sweaters. Steve Jobs’ biography caught my eye. Just like all Apple designs, even the book on him was clean. At least on the outside. But it will be in the library soon. When I was in line paying for the groceries, there was a pain in my stomach I could not figure out. As I got into the car, it hit me. I did not buy anything for myself that I wanted, but did not need. possessed me completely. I could not bring myself to hold her hand, comfort her, even say anything. The world had split open in so many ways. When I stole a glance Jaya was composing herself. We have weathered many storms but, this was the mother of all hurricanes. I knew Jaya from the age of 15; and we’ve been married for 30 years. She was always the human side of our relationship. “Do you know what stage?” “We know that it is neither stage one or four. We will know after the surgery.”
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